What Does It Mean To Be Gay?

I consider myself really lucky to have grown up accepting myself y who I am: a gay man. But what exactly does that mean? What does it mean to be gay in our contemporary society? And how does that affect our way of living as gay men?

LGBT rights are being conquered around the world. Still, there is a lot of road to go to achieve equality everywhere. But which equality are we looking for exactly? Legal equality is one thing, but equality i the people’s minds is another, and that is a much longer process. We had to wait years for equality on marriage for example. But when it cam, it was with a blast. In a short span of just a few years, the United States authorities ruled its legalization, as it happens as well in several European countries. The reason? Is it pure politics or a genuine will to have equality?

And how about trends and fashion? Supported by a smashing marketing machine, fashion presented day-by-day with the idea of perfection: the perfect male body, the one that all gay men desire.

What about everyone who does not have a perfect body? Why are they perceived to be less deserving?

When working at several gay businesses and establishments, I saw this kind of body game being played everyday. Almost everything is about that sexual desire for the hot and sexy body: when a costumer wishes something else (another towel at the gym, a small bottle of water…) he has to pay an extra dollar… unless he is hot of course. Then, it is free of charge.

Another thing is, we continue to diminish the idea of being gay. Recently I’ve been reading these articles about straight men who engage in sexual encounters with other straight men, for the sake of pleasure that’s all. But they are not gay! They are not even Bisexual! I do agree that labelling people is bad, and sometimes is difficult for someone to define himself. That is totally fine. But that does not mean we should diminish the idea of being gay. Not every gay men wants to get married, but that does not mean he shouldn’t have the right to do it.

We are what we are, but in order to fit in society we need to find our group, our community, everything in order to have a life. It is only natural. We have years of evolution that separates us from ancient civilizations, but one thing History taught us is that we continue to see the same mistakes being repeated, as e continue to discuss the same subjects over and over again. It is our human condition, we cannot escape it. But we can understand it.

Learn where you come from to know where you’re going. Read about your past so yo an understand your present. Times may be very deferent, but we should always learn to appreciate what we have. Are you growing up as a gay man? Don’t diminish yourself. Learn to love yourself and what you are and work on the changes you need to make to become a better person.

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